My Sister's Keeper 2007

Many of us have times in our lives when we make a bad decision or something terrible happens to us (death of a spouse, child, or family member, fighting with friends, divorce, etc.) and we are tormented by it for days, years, or the rest of our lives. It seems that whatever happened has consumed our lives and we are overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy, failure, fear, anger, sadness, and even hopelessness. We may even subconsciously blame others for our situation and take our frustrations out on them.

Sometimes we feel stuck in negativity and despair to the point that we forget what Allah has promised us in the Quran:

“So verily, with the hardship, there is relief.

Verily, with the hardship, there is relief.”

Surat Ash- Sharh 94:5-6

These words are so easy to say, but sometimes so difficult to act upon or keep in remembrance.

Allah has also said that He forgives anything, if He pleases, except shirk (ascribing partners to Allah or ascribing divine attributes to others besides Allah and believing that the source of power, harm, and blessings comes from another besides Allah.) Allah says in the Quran:

“Verily, Allah forgives not that partners should

be set up with Him in worship, but He forgives

except that ( anything else) to whom HE pleases…”

Surat An-Nisaa’ 4:48

This doesn’t mean that He will forgive you for everything you do whether you ask Him or not. However, it does mean that if you ask Allah with sincerity, He will hear you. If you trust in Him and follow His commands, and try not to repeat what you have done, you have a good chance of being forgiven by Allah, the Merciful, the Acceptor of Repentance. If you have patience when others harm you or when a calamity touches you, Allah will reward you and grant you relief after hardship.

Allah says in the Quran:

“Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as

long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves

(by committing sins and by being ungrateful and disobedient to

Allah). But when Allah wills a people’s punishment, there can

be no turning back of it, and they will find besides Him no

protector.”

So, you ask yourself , “Where do I begin to heal?" "How do I go on?" "Are there others like me?" "Am I worthy of Allah’s Mercy and His Forgiveness?" Hopefully, after this discussion, you will be able to answer these questions and more. Hopefully you will be able to let go of at least some of the pain and desperation you feel, and let Allah’s promise begin to put your heart at ease.

Part 1

Allah is the Greatest! He will not fail to comfort, protect, and give ease to those who trust in Him and believe that He can help them. In times of difficulty, we sometimes forget this fact. We try to rely on others or ourselves to ease our pain without once consulting Allah. It may be true that others can offer you advice and comfort with Allah’s words, but they cannot pray, repent, or remember Allah for you. You have to turn to Allah to get the full benefit of what He can give you.

In one hadith narrated from ibn Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him), he said that the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said to him,

“O young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice]. Be

mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you

ask, ask of Allah. If you seek help, seek help in Allah. Know

that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with

something, they would not benefit you with anything except

that which Allah has already recorded for you. If they gather

to harm you by something, they would not be able to harm

you by anything except what Allah has already recorded against

you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.”

You see in this sahih hadith that nothing and nobody can benefit or harm you except by Allah’s will. Therefore, without belief in these powerful words, how will you be able to even consider that you will be relieved of your pain and suffering? What help can another person give you if Allah has not decreed that their assistance be beneficial?

Part 2 – All Believers Will Be Tested

Because of the depth that this next section reaches and the understanding that is required in order to fully gain the benefits that its understanding can offer, it will be a topic by itself.

As Muslims, we must clearly understand and believe that the believers will be tested. We WILL be tested with the good AND the bad so we must be prepared. In only thinking that the bad people are being tested with calamities, we will surely do a disservice to ourselves in this life and the next. Allah is not unjust in his dealings and we must work to gain the rewards that He is capable of blessing us with.

In order to drive this point home I will let the evidence speak for itself, beginning with ayaat from the Quran.

29. Al-'Ankabût

2. “Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: ‘We believe,’ and will not be tested.

3. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allâh will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allâh knows all that before putting them to test).

4. Or those who do evil deeds think that they can outstrip Us (i.e. escape Our Punishment)? Evil is that which they judge!

5. Whoever hopes for the Meeting with Allâh, then Allâh's Term is surely coming. and He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.”

33. AlAhzâb (The Confederates)

9. “O you who believe! Remember Allâh's Favour to you, when there came against you hosts, and We sent against them a wind and forces that you saw not [i.e. troops of angels during the battle of AlAhzâb (the Confederates)]. And Allâh is Ever AllSeer of what you do.

10. When they came upon you from above you and from below you, and when the eyes grew wild and the hearts reached to the throats, and you were harbouring doubts about Allâh.

11. There, the believers were tried and shaken with a mighty shaking.”

3. Âl-'Imrân

186. “You shall certainly be tried and tested in your wealth and properties and in your personal selves, and you shall certainly hear much that will grieve you from those who received the Scripture before you (Jews and Christians) and from those who ascribe partners to Allâh, but if you persevere patiently, and become Al-Muttaqûn (the pious - see V.2:2) then verily, that will be a determining factor in all affairs, and that is from the great matters, [which you must hold on with all your efforts].”

2. Al-Baqarah (The Cow)

155. “And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirin (the patient ones, etc.).

156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: ‘Truly! To Allâh we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.’

157. They are those on whom are the Salawât (i.e. blessings, etc.) (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided-ones.”

39. Az-Zumar

49. “When harm touches man, he calls to Us (for help), then when We have (rescued him from that harm and) changed it into a favour from Us, he says: "Only because of knowledge (that I possess) I obtained it." Nay, it is only a trial, but most of them know not!”

The following will show that trials and tribulations are not always a sign of Allah’s displeasure with someone. Rather, they can be signs of Allah’s love and mercy upon him/her. The Prophet (PBUH) said:

When Allah who is Great and Glorious loves people He afflicts them [with trials]. (Tirmidhi)

Anyone for whom Allah intends good, He makes him suffer from some affliction. (Bukhari)

When Allah intends good for His slave, He punishes him in this world, but when He intends an evil for His slave, He does not hasten to take him to task but calls him to account on the Day of Resurrection. (Tirmidhi)

No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn. (Bukhari)

Whatever Allah takes away or gives, belongs to Him, and everything has a fixed term (in this world). (Bukhari and Muslim)

These hardships and trials will continue to afflict the believers until the Day of Judgment and nobody should expect that they should escape form being tested. In fact, you will benefit in the next life because of them. Consider the following:

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet said, ”Hardships continue to befall a believing man and woman in their body, family, and property, until they meet Allah burdened with no sins” (At-Tirmidhi).

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Whenever a Muslim is afflicted by harm from sickness or other matters, Allah will drop his sins because of that, like a tree drops its leaves” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

By grasping this concept alone, that ALL believers will be tested, you can greatly increase your rewards from Allah. You can also begin to feel a greater sense of peace when you are blessed with good and tried with affliction. You will begin to understand the importance of trusting Allah to help you through all of your personal situations and not just the ones that you view are negative in nature.